6-18-11 Trying

Walking back to the movies, we encountered people. (That couldn't have gotten any less specific.) Anyways, we had a casual conversation until the woman, 26, told us her real intentions of talking to us. Plainly stated, she was targeting teenagers looking for God in their lives. Truth be told, I was extremely touched by this. At first I was thinking "Oh here we go," but then she kept talking and explained about how great it would be to know that there's someone with a plan for us. I'd be more secure, calm, and trusting. More over, she talked about how two boys at Sac State told her they were offering "Free Healing." In my head I said, "I could really use some of that." Inside of me, there's so much hurt and pain. I wish God would just take it away. That woman made me realize, everything I'm looking for, God has offered me. And I just ignored Him. I am ashamed of how conflicted I've become stressing over how everybody thinks of me. I should've realized sooner that everybody will judge you, but only Gods' matters. I'm still consumed by the world and still trying to focus on myself and Him. I'm sorry, I've failed you. I'm trying.